Surreal...

I have been rather quite on here but sticking to my overall plan of saving and being generally good with cooking healthy foods all from scratch, focusing hard and trying to forget on what is happening in my 'real' life. Mum has been diagnosed with cancer... not just one tumour but actually two... how lucky is that? Tomorrow is the D day, she is going to find out if her surgeon can operate.
Huge bag of emotions in my head, something else that I have never experienced. On top of that I am trying to run my home, work full time and stay sane. I feel so sad and lost for words, it's all  swirling in my head.... I keep thinking that I don't want her to suffer, she is already weak and size 6.
I live long way from her so it so difficultly to cope with this long distance and I feel resentful that I can just put everything else's on hold and be there.

I got up early to morning at 5am so I can prepare for day ahead and gather my thoughts... will make some lovely rolls tonight, organic flour... I can't think of anything else.

I'm back after short break, no I did not go on holiday but simply too much work and family. I wish I went on holiday though... maybe somewhere Mediterranean hmm....
Bach to reality, still very much into my New Years resolution and I can honestly say I still have not bought anything else except food, which is amazing achievement for me.
I have been experimenting with making bread, cooking batches of food and generally trying to save like crazy for my new kitchen, bit slow process but I don't want to have any debts so best to save first.
Work has been so hectic this week, lots of driving, I'm so glad it's Friday..... I feel very tired and negative at the moment,  tomorrow I will try to get out and do some gardening, I'm hopeful...... we had thunder and lightning tonight I'm hoping that it will all clear by the morning.